After such a difficult day on Friday, yesterday was very quiet. In fact the only thing of any interest that happened yesterday was they ended up removing one of Tina's depth electrodes. Friday night, as Tina and I were staying up trying to see if we could get some seizures going, we decided to play a rousing game of Skip-bo. While we were playing, Tina noticed that one of her depth electrode anchors was loose. The anchor is supposed to be screwed into her skull so that the electrodes don't move. I have to say that it really gave me the heeby-jeebies to see Tina wiggle that thing around knowing that it was buried in her brain.
Neurosurgery came up on Friday morning and took the electrode out... in her room... Yup, they just came in, took her dressing off her head, and pulled the wire out of her brain while she sat in her bed. They gave her a small sedative to help with the stitch they had to put in her scalp. Tina said that the only thing she could feel was the needle stitching her up. This stuff is just plain weird.
We stayed up again until 2:30am last night but still as of 9:00pm Sunday no seizure activity. At this point we're being told that all the doctors are going to confab on Tuesday and decide on the next step if Tina still hasn't had any more seizures. As it stands it sounds like there's basically three things that they could decide. First, they could decide that the risk of leaving the electrodes in Tina's brain has a low enough risk that they will simply wait longer hoping for another seizure. Second, they could decide to proceed with removing part of her brain based on the data that they got with her previous seizure, or they could decide to remove the electrodes and send us home without removing any of her brain.
It has been difficult these past few days as we wait. It has been more than a week since Tina has had any "natural" seizures and so her most recent set of electrodes that were put inside her brain a week ago have yet to record any seizures. There have been those moments when we wonder what God is up to. It seems that we sit here for days without accomplishing anything. This can become discouraging.
This morning as I was reading True Spirituality by Francis Schaeffer I read this; "If we are not careful, even though we say we are biblical Christians and supernaturalists, nevertheless the naturalism of our generation tends to come in upon us...It is perfectly possible for a Christian to be so infiltrated by twentieth-century thinking that he lives most of his life as though the supernatural were not there. Indeed, I would suggest that all of us do this to some extent."
As I read this it reminded me that I don't live in a world that is primarily natural - it is fundamentally supernatural. What I can see and observe around me is not all there is to reality. So where I may not think anything is being accomplished by our sitting here in Cleveland I have to remember that not all that is being accomplished here can be observed. Perhaps what God is accomplishing may not be what we think it is. It is so easy to focus on the natural world in an environment like this, but I have to remember that even the natural world (blood pressure readings, EEGs, video monitoring, seizure meds, etc.) exist to support all that God is accomplishing in the supernatural world.
Please pray that we would continue to walk this path with perseverance and that God's glory would be put on display even in the midst of our disappointment.
Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! -Romans 11:33
4 comments:
We are continuing to pray for you all every day as we know that these long days can be discouraging. We also appreciate your comments (Matt) about the visible natural world and invisible supernatural world. We were reminded of the verse from John 5:17 "Jesus said to them, My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I, too, am working". Thanking God, with you, that His presence is all over this situation because He lives inside of both of you and He is always working.
Love and prayers, Jim and Chris
"Be still and know that I am God." it is so hard not to see answers to our prayers as we desire. who can know the mind and purpose of our God? I must submit my thoughts and prayers to Him almost every moment I am awake. He has promised that He will never leave us or forsake us. NEVER and what you said, Matt, is a great reminder to us that we can't see what He is accomplishing with all of this. We can never know whose life you are touching. I do know that you both are bringing Glory to God in your attitudes. It is the desire of our hearts to have the seizure information for them to finish this treatment; but is this the plan? God's thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways. Our hearts ache with all that you are going through. How we love you both, keep on keeping on!!
It is now Monday morning. We woke thinking and praying for you both. The story of Peter standing at the gate of the house where a prayer meeting was going on in his behalf."It is Peter!" No one believed the girl. Is it possible that God healed Tina's epilepsy and we missed it? Is there anyway the Dr.'s can evaulate this possibility? "How unsearchable are His judgments, and His ways past finding out" untraceable path. You have many who are the path with you.....but to know that the Lord God already knows what is around the next bend for you must bring comfort to your frustrated hearts. how we love you, xoxo
I would like to exchange links with your site matt-mead.blogspot.com
Is this possible?
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