Tina has now gone nearly 33 hours without sleep. Sleep deprivation is one of those little tricks of the trade that the EMU use to try and get their patients to have a seizure. So far - no dice. They have detected some seizure-type activity but no seizures. The neurologist is now telling us that they really need to have seizures in order to proceed with surgery, so we are really praying that something happens. Tina is really motivated to stay awake as long as she can to try and see if she can wear out her brain and conjure something up.
Unfortunately I'm fried and so this blog post isn't going to say a whole lot - certainly no sermons. Thanks again to all who have sent messages of encouragement, Tina and I greatly appreciate it. We'll keep you posted as thing progress.
Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! -Romans 11:33
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
The Long Wait Starts
Everything went well yesterday. Tina arrived in her room at about 2:00 pretty groggy from the anesthesia. She also had a head ache - go figure. Pretty soon after she arrived they connected the 10 electrodes that are implanted in her brain to the computer and started recording her brain activity. As she became more awake her head started hurting more and they gave her a small dose of Morphine for the pain. She also was getting pretty hungry since she hadn't eaten anything in 24 hours so she ordered a light dinner which she "egressed" shortly after. Poor girl.
About 9:00 they realized that she hadn't gotten her CT scan so they had to disconnect her electrodes and take her back down for her scan. The results came back that all he electrodes were exactly where they needed to be. (Good job Dr. Miller.) They plugged her back in, we watched a couple episodes of Myth Busters and decided that Tina had better get some sleep. In the end she didn't sleep very good, as anyone who has ever been through surgery knows the nurses come in every 15 minutes to check something or ask some question, and when the nurse isn't there some machine starts beeping, a BP cuff starts pumping up, or those stupid leg things turn on.
This morning she was able to keep a breakfast of Cream of Wheat down which is good and I was able to talk the nurse into disconnecting her catheter, BP cuff, O2 wire, and her "leg warmers". With any luck I'll get them to let her put her regular PJs on after she wakes up from her nap.
Now we sit and wait for her brain to have some kind of seizure activity that they can capture which will tell them where they need to operate. It may sound strange that we want her to have seizures but that is what will help the doctors make an accurate decision about the next step. The ideal situation would be that she have a series of simple partial (not grand mal) seizures that clearly show what part of her brain is causing the seizures. What we don't want are grand mal seizures. Unfortunately, Tina's track record is that off her meds her simple partial seizures eventually escalate into grand mal's. The other unfortunate thing is that Tina also tends to not be able to produce seizures on demand. It isn't as simple as going off her meds and bingo seizures. So please pray that God would provide all that is needed in this area as well.
Pray for Tina during this time in the EMU. She can become discouraged just laying in bed, especially when she doesn't have any seizure activity. She gets board and feels like when nothing is happening that she's wasting her time here. Seven days is a long time to be plugged into the wall with a short cord.
We are so grateful for all those who have offered prayers for us, and we have heard from so many of you who are following this blog to keep up to date with what is going on with Tina here in Cleveland, but it is our greatest desire that our time here would not be primarily about Tina and Matt, but that God's glory would be displayed through us. Here comes the sermon:
Paul tells us in Colossians 1 that all things were created by Christ and all things were created for Christ - that includes us. Paul goes on to say that God's purpose in all this is to reconcile to himself all things by making peace through his blood. We hold firm to the fact that we were created by Christ so that we would bring him glory and so that we could enjoy him forever. We also hold firm to the fact that this was made possible only through what Christ did for us on the cross and not through anything we could do to make ourselves acceptable to him. Paul says that God reconciled us to himself not that we reconciled ourselves to God.
So whether we find ourselves stuck in the EMU for 7 days or faced with brain surgery and all the uncertainty that comes with that, we do so with an attitude of gratitude. Jesus made me, for himself and he bought me with his own blood so that I could be with him forever - how could I be anything but grateful.
About 9:00 they realized that she hadn't gotten her CT scan so they had to disconnect her electrodes and take her back down for her scan. The results came back that all he electrodes were exactly where they needed to be. (Good job Dr. Miller.) They plugged her back in, we watched a couple episodes of Myth Busters and decided that Tina had better get some sleep. In the end she didn't sleep very good, as anyone who has ever been through surgery knows the nurses come in every 15 minutes to check something or ask some question, and when the nurse isn't there some machine starts beeping, a BP cuff starts pumping up, or those stupid leg things turn on.
This morning she was able to keep a breakfast of Cream of Wheat down which is good and I was able to talk the nurse into disconnecting her catheter, BP cuff, O2 wire, and her "leg warmers". With any luck I'll get them to let her put her regular PJs on after she wakes up from her nap.
Now we sit and wait for her brain to have some kind of seizure activity that they can capture which will tell them where they need to operate. It may sound strange that we want her to have seizures but that is what will help the doctors make an accurate decision about the next step. The ideal situation would be that she have a series of simple partial (not grand mal) seizures that clearly show what part of her brain is causing the seizures. What we don't want are grand mal seizures. Unfortunately, Tina's track record is that off her meds her simple partial seizures eventually escalate into grand mal's. The other unfortunate thing is that Tina also tends to not be able to produce seizures on demand. It isn't as simple as going off her meds and bingo seizures. So please pray that God would provide all that is needed in this area as well.
Pray for Tina during this time in the EMU. She can become discouraged just laying in bed, especially when she doesn't have any seizure activity. She gets board and feels like when nothing is happening that she's wasting her time here. Seven days is a long time to be plugged into the wall with a short cord.
We are so grateful for all those who have offered prayers for us, and we have heard from so many of you who are following this blog to keep up to date with what is going on with Tina here in Cleveland, but it is our greatest desire that our time here would not be primarily about Tina and Matt, but that God's glory would be displayed through us. Here comes the sermon:
Paul tells us in Colossians 1 that all things were created by Christ and all things were created for Christ - that includes us. Paul goes on to say that God's purpose in all this is to reconcile to himself all things by making peace through his blood. We hold firm to the fact that we were created by Christ so that we would bring him glory and so that we could enjoy him forever. We also hold firm to the fact that this was made possible only through what Christ did for us on the cross and not through anything we could do to make ourselves acceptable to him. Paul says that God reconciled us to himself not that we reconciled ourselves to God.
So whether we find ourselves stuck in the EMU for 7 days or faced with brain surgery and all the uncertainty that comes with that, we do so with an attitude of gratitude. Jesus made me, for himself and he bought me with his own blood so that I could be with him forever - how could I be anything but grateful.
Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!
"Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?"
"Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?"
For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.
- Romans 11:33-36
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
She's Out
I just talked to the surgeon and Tina is now out of surgery. He said everything went very smoothly and it didn't take nearly as long as he thought it might. They will do another CT scan to check the electrode placement and then she will be in recovery for about two hours. Hopefully I'll be able to go in and see her soon. After recovery they'll move her right over to the EMU (Epilepsy Monitoring Unit) where she'll be plugged in for the next 7 days.
Thank you to all for your prayers. I have certainly felt the presence of the Holy Spirit as I have waited. Others that I am waiting with have commented on just how calm I seam to be - this is clear indication of the peace that comes from knowing the One who is in control of all things.
Please continue to pray as we enter the next phase of our stay here in Cleveland. Although the stress of the EMU stay may not be as intense as the surgery it can be much more wearing as the days drag on.
Thank you to all for your prayers. I have certainly felt the presence of the Holy Spirit as I have waited. Others that I am waiting with have commented on just how calm I seam to be - this is clear indication of the peace that comes from knowing the One who is in control of all things.
Please continue to pray as we enter the next phase of our stay here in Cleveland. Although the stress of the EMU stay may not be as intense as the surgery it can be much more wearing as the days drag on.
She's In
Tina was taken in at about 8:30 and was in great spirits. She was all smiles when they shaved her hair off. (I'm trying to upload a pic but blogspot doesn't seam to want to let me. I did manage to get it up on Facebook though.)
She will be in prep and MRI for a couple of hours and then off to surgery to implant the electrodes for another 3 - 4 hours. She'll be under for about 5- 7 hours total. They just told me that she's been taken into surgery at 10:30, so now starts the real stuff...
Thanks for all those who are praying. God has truly given Tina an amazing peace about all that is going on.
She will be in prep and MRI for a couple of hours and then off to surgery to implant the electrodes for another 3 - 4 hours. She'll be under for about 5- 7 hours total. They just told me that she's been taken into surgery at 10:30, so now starts the real stuff...
Thanks for all those who are praying. God has truly given Tina an amazing peace about all that is going on.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
On Your Mark...
We arrived in Cleveland around 10:00pm Monday night. We weren't able to leave quite as early as we had hoped. I had to make an unplanned stop to see my dentist at the last minute (stupid tooth), so we got a bit of late start. The trip down was completely uneventful, just the way we like it.
After a poor night's sleep, we got up to a smoggy Cleveland sunrise, and headed out to the hospital for our 11:00 appointment. Tina spent a couple of hours getting poked, swabbed, and submitted the contents of her bladder for testing to make sure she was good to go for surgery tomorrow morning. We haven't heard anything from the hospital so we assume we've got the green light for tomorrow.
Tomorrow we need to be to the hospital by 6:15. She will be taken to pre-op where she'll get her IV and that lovely hospital apparel - oh yeah - and get her head shaved. From there she'll be given her general anesthesia and taken down for an MRI which the surgeon will use to know where to insert the electrodes. I think the procedure is fairly quick and then she'll go into recovery for a few hours and then over to the EMU (Epilepsy Monitoring Unit). This is where we'll spend the next 7 days as they monitor the electrodes for data to inform the surgeon as to what part of Tina's brain is causing the seizures.
Please pray that Tina's brain will produce adequate and accurate data from which the doctors can make a proper assessment. Please also pray for our children. We got a call from Meg last night about 11:00 wanting us to come home. She misses Tina and is already counting off the days before we'll be home - to her it feels like an eternity.
Tina is still doing well with the reality of surgery tomorrow morning, although maybe a bit more nervous than before. I find myself much more on the anxious side of things. As we talked with the surgeon's nurse and she ran us through what to expect for the next two weeks I must admit that I am not without my worries. It is not an easy thing to think about your wife with a big zipper going down the center of her head from her forehead to the back of her neck.
There is true comfort in knowing that it is in God's plan for Tina to be a zipper-head (sorry if that sounds insensitive but... well... get over it), at the same time there is the reality that this world is also full of pain and difficulty and no sane human ever relishes being in the middle of those painful and difficult circumstances. So lest this sound more "spiritual" than it is, know that I am still learning to follow what my Lord's half-brother said when he encourages us to "consider it pure joy...whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4)
It is my desire to be mature, complete, lacking nothing, but I must admit that I still have a way to go because I'm not sure that I can look at my path or Tina's path for the next two weeks and consider it pure joy. I trust my God and I believe he is good and that he will use these trials to make me into the man he wants me to be, but I am not sure I can stand on this side of this trial and consider it joy. However, I do believe that there will be a day, with God's help, that I will be able to look back and joyfully recognize God's sovereign hand upon Tina and my life as we enter into the reality of brain surgery tomorrow.
After a poor night's sleep, we got up to a smoggy Cleveland sunrise, and headed out to the hospital for our 11:00 appointment. Tina spent a couple of hours getting poked, swabbed, and submitted the contents of her bladder for testing to make sure she was good to go for surgery tomorrow morning. We haven't heard anything from the hospital so we assume we've got the green light for tomorrow.
Tomorrow we need to be to the hospital by 6:15. She will be taken to pre-op where she'll get her IV and that lovely hospital apparel - oh yeah - and get her head shaved. From there she'll be given her general anesthesia and taken down for an MRI which the surgeon will use to know where to insert the electrodes. I think the procedure is fairly quick and then she'll go into recovery for a few hours and then over to the EMU (Epilepsy Monitoring Unit). This is where we'll spend the next 7 days as they monitor the electrodes for data to inform the surgeon as to what part of Tina's brain is causing the seizures.
Please pray that Tina's brain will produce adequate and accurate data from which the doctors can make a proper assessment. Please also pray for our children. We got a call from Meg last night about 11:00 wanting us to come home. She misses Tina and is already counting off the days before we'll be home - to her it feels like an eternity.
Tina is still doing well with the reality of surgery tomorrow morning, although maybe a bit more nervous than before. I find myself much more on the anxious side of things. As we talked with the surgeon's nurse and she ran us through what to expect for the next two weeks I must admit that I am not without my worries. It is not an easy thing to think about your wife with a big zipper going down the center of her head from her forehead to the back of her neck.
There is true comfort in knowing that it is in God's plan for Tina to be a zipper-head (sorry if that sounds insensitive but... well... get over it), at the same time there is the reality that this world is also full of pain and difficulty and no sane human ever relishes being in the middle of those painful and difficult circumstances. So lest this sound more "spiritual" than it is, know that I am still learning to follow what my Lord's half-brother said when he encourages us to "consider it pure joy...whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4)
It is my desire to be mature, complete, lacking nothing, but I must admit that I still have a way to go because I'm not sure that I can look at my path or Tina's path for the next two weeks and consider it pure joy. I trust my God and I believe he is good and that he will use these trials to make me into the man he wants me to be, but I am not sure I can stand on this side of this trial and consider it joy. However, I do believe that there will be a day, with God's help, that I will be able to look back and joyfully recognize God's sovereign hand upon Tina and my life as we enter into the reality of brain surgery tomorrow.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Headed Out
We're headed out in a couple of hours. The kids just left for Grayling and are excited to spend the week with cousins. We had a good long talk with them last night and as you can imagine they have many fears and anxieties about what might happen. In the end we all know that we are in God's hands and that no matter what happens we confess that God is good, He is in control, and he is loving - and even if this thing turns south none of that changes.
We were reminded again yesterday with our close friends who discovered that their new baby girl has a tumor on her brain, that often times life takes turns we don't expect and would not take if we could choose. Once again I think of what Paul says in Romans 11- God's paths for us are untraceable.
We cannot see where this path is taking us nor did we choose this path, but what we have chosen is to follow our King no matter what and so if this is the untraceable path he has for us we will gladly follow it even when it takes a bend in the road and disappears into the woods where we cannot see what is up ahead. However we take hope in the fact that we know the one who made this path and the "the depth of the riches of [his] wisdom and knowledge" are unspeakable, and so we will follow this path with an open heart. We recognize that from Him are all things and that through Him do all things exist and pray that in all things we would live our lives TO Him. "To him be the GLORY forever!
We were reminded again yesterday with our close friends who discovered that their new baby girl has a tumor on her brain, that often times life takes turns we don't expect and would not take if we could choose. Once again I think of what Paul says in Romans 11- God's paths for us are untraceable.
Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!
"Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?"
"Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?"
For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.
- Romans 11: 33-36
We cannot see where this path is taking us nor did we choose this path, but what we have chosen is to follow our King no matter what and so if this is the untraceable path he has for us we will gladly follow it even when it takes a bend in the road and disappears into the woods where we cannot see what is up ahead. However we take hope in the fact that we know the one who made this path and the "the depth of the riches of [his] wisdom and knowledge" are unspeakable, and so we will follow this path with an open heart. We recognize that from Him are all things and that through Him do all things exist and pray that in all things we would live our lives TO Him. "To him be the GLORY forever!
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